Resilience 

We all face negative situations in life, and we often do not have full control over those situations. What’s most important, and what we do have control over, is how we react to these situations. There are strategies and skills we can use to approach the bad things that happen to us so we can continue to make the best decisions for ourselves and our futures! Native people are extremely resilient; we’ve survived centuries of hardships. However, that doesn’t mean we can’t ask for help or learn new tools to improve our resilience.  

Thinking Positively  

Thinking positively is a skill that will help us respond more positively to the negative situations that happen to us during our day. Positive thinking is not about being happy all the time. Instead, it is about changing the way we think about the things that can make us feel bad or can make us have a bad day. 

A negative situation can throw off our day and put us in a bad mood. Thinking positively can help us approach those negative situations differently so they don’t keep us down.  

  • Example: You just saw that your friend got the new phone you want but you can’t afford at the moment.  
  • This could be a situation that leads us to think negative thoughts about ourselves. Examples: “People will judge me,” “I’ll never be able to afford nice things,” “I’ll never be happy” 
  • If we use positive thinking, we can fight off these negative thoughts. Examples: “I don’t need a new phone – the one I have now works just fine,” “I have other things in my life that make me happy” 

We can also use positive thinking to restart our day. If we are in a bad mood, or if our day just isn’t going right, we can think positively to change our moods.  

  • Example: “I’m having a bad day today, but tomorrow will be better. I have a lot to be thankful for.” 

Sometimes our brains automatically think negatively when we get frustrated, if we’re experiencing too much stress, or if we’ve experienced something traumatic in our lives. This is considered negative self-talk.  

The problem with these negative thoughts is that they can lead to other negative thoughts which end up making us feel worse. Negative thoughts can also lead to negative feelings and negative behaviors, which can harm our health. 

Let’s take a few more examples and work to make them into positive thoughts.  

  • Examples: 
  • “I can’t do anything right” 
  • Possible response: “I am having trouble with this one activity but am good at other things.”  
  • “My parent/caregiver never listens to me” 
  • Possible response: “Maybe I need to find a different time to talk to them.” 
  • “My friend is ignoring me” 
  • Possible response: “Maybe they are busy.” 

Remember that no one is all negative or all positive. We have both in us, but we can focus on the positive aspects and let those spread to other parts of our lives. Try to see the positives in situations. If we only focus on the bad things, they will continue to grow.  

Bad Feelings Busters  

Distraction strategies can help to calm us down, begin feeling better and start thinking clearly.  An easy way to control negative feelings is to do something fun when you are feeling bad.  These are the rules: 

1. Do fun activities that YOU enjoy, not things that other people choose for you.   

2. Do things that YOU control, not things that are controlled by other people. 

3. Do things that are good for you.  Avoid drugs and alcohol because they can make you feel worse.  

4. Do not depend on other people to start doing fun things; invite them instead of waiting. 

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